CHILD SEXUAL MOLESTER MYTHS
This writers interests are broader than Polygamy, child abuse and child sexual molesters, I am against child sexual abuse of any nature and not just with child brides in polygamy. I am also interested in the continual buildup of the military industrial complex, its budget and our continual involvement in wars that do not affect our national security. It bothers me that we spend more on defense than the next 10 countries combined. Subsequently my blogs lie mostly in these areas.
I have some interests in the area of child sexual molesters as having seen the effects within a friend’s family and their daughter and having had a similar experience in my own family involving a grand daughter. These experiences, many times involve someone you would never suspect. It coud be a stepfather, a friend of the family and even a minister or a school teacher. It is usualy a gradual involvement where the perpetrator gains the confidence of the child and in some cases even the confidence of the parents and then proceeds to make overtures such as touching, etc.
I recently read an article that explored several common myths about child sexual molesters and I would like to discuss some of these myths.
Myth #1: Normal-appearing, well educated, middle-class people do not molest children.
Recent reports of abuse by priests have shown, child sexual molesters rely on our misassumptions to deliberately and carefully set and gain access to child victims. According to DR. Ann Saler, PHD, an expert in sex offenders, “a double life is prevalent among all types of sex offenders. The front usually offered to the world is usually a good person, someone the community believes has a good character and would never do such a thing.” Many seek prominent positions that place them in close proximaty with children. They can charm, be likeable and radiate sincerity which causes parents to drop their guard. In my friend’s case, a co-worker and leader in the church made friends with the father and family and paid attentions to the 12-13 year old daughter. He eventually kidnapped the daughter and took her to Mexico before being located after three months. In my case, my grand daugher was molested by her fanatically religious step father, who was bent on separating myself and my wife from our daughter and her children because we were of a different religion. A neighbor lady noticed blood on my grand daughters clothing and called the police. He spent 5 years in prison for his actions for being a child sexual molestor.
Myth #2: People are to quick to believe that the accused is innocent even if there is supporting evidence.
It is hard for most people to imagine how any person could do such a heinous act. They assume child sexual molesters must be monsters and that the accused is incapable of such act. Therefore if the accused appears to be normal they will disbelieve the allegation.
Myth #3: Child SEXUAL molesters molest indiscriminately.
Not everyone that comes in contact with a child abuser will be abused. Research with sex offenders confirms that they carefully select and groom their victims. Child sexual molesters most often chose children who had family problems, were alone, lacked confidence. and were indiscriminate in their trust of others, especially when the child was perceived to be pretty, provocatively dressed, young or small. Rather than being a sudden, initially traumatic experience, most sex abuse involves a gradual grooming process in which the molester skillfully manipulates the child into participating. To ensure the childs continuing compliance, offenders use bribes, threats and force. There is a process of obtaining the childs friendship and obtaining the parents friendship and trust. When you get their trust that is when a child becomes vulnerable.
There are other myths such as:
4- Children who are abused would immediately tell their parents.
The fact victims fail to disclose their abuse in a timely fashion is frquently used as evidence that the victim’s story should be doubted. Research shows that children have considerale difficulty in revealing or discussing their abuse.
5- Children who are being abused will show physical evidence of abuse. Not necessarily.
6-If asked about abuse, children tend to exaggerate and are prone to making false accusations.
Research shows that children often minimize and deny, rather than embellish what has happened to them. Even with police and therepists questioning, research finds that children are quite reluctant to discuss embarrasing events. Lab research using suggestive questioning has consistantly shown that negative events, especially events involving a child’s genitals, are relatively difficult to implant in children’s statements.