Tag: MOLESTATION

SEXUAL MOLESTATION

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HOW DO YOU KNOW WHEN OR IF YOUR CHILD IS BEING GROOMED FOR SEXUAL MOLESTATION? 

child abuse
child molested

I KNOW A FAMILY WITH A DAUGHTER AND A FEMALE CHILD NEARLY TWO YEARS OLD.  THE DAUGHTER WAS IN A SERVICE STATION GETTING GAS AND SHE MET A MILITARY SERVICE MAN WHO WAS ATTRACTED TO HER AND HER DAUGHTER.  THEY DATED FOR A WHILE AND THEN GOT MARRIED HIS NAME WAS EDDY AND HE WAS STATIONED AT A NEARBY MILITARY BASE HE SEEMED TO BE A LITTLE STRANGE AND APPEARED TO BE VERY RELIGIOUS.  HE BECAME FANATICALLY RELIGIOUS AND WAS A MEMBER OF A PENTECOSTAL GROUP WHERE THE WOMEN AND GIRLS WORE DRESSES TO THEIR ANKLES, TV’S WERE NOT ALLOWED AND JEWELRY WAS NOT ALLOWED TO BE WORN.  THEY WENT TO CHURCH EVERY SUNDAY AND WERE VERY ACTIVE IN THEIR CHURCH.  THE DAUGHTER JOINED HIS GROUP AND THEY TRIED TO REMOVE THE PARENTS OF THE DAUGHTER FROM THEIR LIVES BECAUSE THEY WERE A DIFFERENT RELIGION.  AT ANY RATE HE WAS VERY ATTENTIVE TO HIS ADOPTED STEP DAUGHTER.  THIS INCREASED AS SHE GREW OLDER, AS HE WOULD HOLD HER IN HIS LAP, HUG HER AND CARESS HER.  WHEN THE STEP- DAUGHTER WAS ABOUT 14 A NEIGHBOR LADY SAW BLOOD ON HER DRESS AND FOUND OUT THAT SHE WAS BEING SEXUALLY ABUSED AND CALLED THE POLICE.  EDDY ADMITTED TO SEXUALLY ABUSING HER AND AS A RESULT, HE IS PRESENTLY RESIDING IN A PRISON FOR FIVE YEARS.  THE ABUSE HAD BEEN GOING ON FOR 4 YEARS AND NOW THE STEP- DAUGHTER’S LIFE HAS CHANGED TO WHERE SHE IS SEXUALLY ACTIVE WITH THE BOYS SHE RUNS WITH, AS THAT IS HER IDEA OF BEING LOVED.  HOPEFULLY SOMETHING WILL BRING A CHANGE IN HER LIFE FOR THE BETTER.

 GROOMING CHILDREN FOR MOLESTATION

 WHAT IF YOUR CHILD IS BEING MOLESTED, MAYBE BY A NEIGHBOR OR A RELATIVE OR EVEN THE FATHER.  WHAT STEPS DO THESE PREDATORS OR CHILD MOLESTERS TAKE?  WHAT STEPS WOULD YOU TAKE TO GET WHAT YOU WANT?  A PREDATOR WILL IDENTIFY AND ENGAGE HIS VICTIM.  HE WILL GAIN THE CHILD’S TRUST, BREAK DOWN HER DEFENSES, AND MANIPULATE HER INTO PERFORMING OR PERMITTING THE DESIRED SEX ACT.  IF NECESSARY, THE PREDATOR WILL GAIN ACCESS TO THE CHILD BY EMPLOYING THE SAME TECHNIQUES WITH THE CHILD’S PARENTS.  THIS PROCESS IS CALLED GROOMING.  IT INCREASES THE PREDATOR’S ACCESS TO HIS VICTIM AND DECREASES THE CHANCE OF BEING DISCOVERED.

ANNA SALTER, A RESPECTED PSYCHOLOGIST SAID:  “THE ESTABLISHMENT [AND EVENTUAL BETRAYAL] OF AFFECTION AND TRUST OCCUPIES  A CENTRAL ROLE IN THE CHILD MOLESTER’S INTERACTIONS WITH CHILDREN….THE GROOMING PROCESS OFTEN SEEMS SIMILAR FROM OFFENDER TO OFFENDER, LARGELY BECAUSE IT TAKES LITTLE TO DISCOVER THAT EMOTIONAL SEDUCTION IS THE MOST EFFECTIVE WAY TO MANIPULATE CHILDREN.”

CHILD MOLESTERS SPELL IT OUT:   ONE MOLESTER SAID, ” PARENTS ARE SO NAIVE. THEY ARE WORRIED ABOUT STRANGERS AND SHOULD BE WORRIED ABOUT THEIR BROTHER-IN-LAW.  THEY DO NOT REALIZE HOW DEVIOUS WE CAN BE.  I USED TO ABUSE CHILDREN IN THE SAME ROOM AS THEIR PARENTS AND THEY COULD NOT SEE IT OR DID NOT SEEM TO KNOW IT WAS HAPPENING.  I WAS DISABLED AND SPENT MONTHS GROOMING THE PARENTS SO THEY WOULD TELL THEIR CHILDREN TO TAKE ME OUT AND HELP ME.  NO ONE THOUGHT THAT DISABLED PEOPLE COULD BE ABUSERS.  PARENTS ARE PARTLY TO BLAME IF THEY DO NOT TELL THEIR CHILDREN ABOUT SEXUAL MATTERS.  IT’S HARDER TO ABUSE OR TRICK A CHILD WHO KNOWS WHAT YOU ARE UP TO.”

WHAT ARE PREDATORS UP TO?  GROOMING IS A PROCESS  .IT BEGINS WHEN THE PREDATOR CHOOSES A TARGET.  HE VISITS PLACES WHERE CHILDREN ARE LIKELY TO GO, SCHOOLS, MALLS, PLAYGROUNDS, ETC.   HE MAY STRIKE UP RELATIONSHIPS WITH ADULTS WHO HAVE CHILDREN IN THEIR HOME, ESPECIALLY SINGLE PARENTS.  ANY CHILD COULD BE A TARGET OR A VICTIM.  THEY OFTEN TARGET CHILDREN WITH VULNERABILITIES.  A CHILD WHO FEELS UNLOVED AND UNPOPULAR WILL SOAK UP ADULT ATTENTION LIKE A SPONGE.  CHILDREN WHO ARE LEFT ALONE AND ARE UNSUPERVISED CAN BE TARGETS.

HOW DO PREDATORS ENGAGE CHILDREN?  PREDATORS ENGAGE CHILDREN IN DIFFERENT MANNERS.  THEY MAY OFFER GIFTS, CANDY, DRUGS OR OFFER RIDES.  THEY ALMOST ALWAYS OFFER A SYMPATHETIC EAR. “YOUR PARENTS DO NOT UNDERSTAND YOU OR RESPECT YOU.  THEY DO NOT TRUST YOU, BUT I TRUST YOU.  I LOVE YOU AND I AM HERE FOR YOU.”

SUCCESSFUL PREDATORS FIND AND FILL A VOID IN A CHILD’S LIFE.  THEY WILL INTRODUCE SECRECY AT SOME POINT.  SECRECY WILL EVENTUALLY BIND THE VICTIM TO THE PREDATOR.  “HERE IS SOME CANDY, BUT DO NOT TELL YOUR FRIENDS AS THEY WILL BE JEALOUS, AND DO NOT TELL YOUR MOM BECAUSE SHE WILL NOT LIKE YOU EATING BETWEEN MEALS.”  LATER SECRECY JOINS HANDS WITH THREATS: “IF YOU TELL YOUR MOTHER WHAT HAPPENED, SHE WILL HATE YOU, IT WILL KILL HER, OR I WILL KILL HER, OR I WILL KILL YOU.”  AN EMOTIONAL BOND LEADS TO PHYSICAL CONTACT.  GROOMING BREAKS DOWN A CHILD’S DEFENSES AND INCREASES THE CHILD’S ACCEPTANCE OF TOUCHING WHICH FINALLY LEADS TO SEXUAL TOUCHING.

THE BEST WAY TO RECOGNIZE GROOMING IS TO PAY ATTENTION TO YOUR CHILD AND THE PEOPLE IN YOUR CHILD’S LIFE.  THERE ARE MANY DEMANDS PLACED ON OUR LIVES, BUT NONE AS IMPORTANT AS THE WELFARE OF OUR CHILDREN.  GET TO KNOW YOUR CHILD’S FRIENDS, COACHES, SCOUTMASTERS, TEACHERS, CARE PROVIDERS AND OTHER SIGNIFICANT PEOPLE IN YOUR CHILD’S LIFE.

AND MOST IMPORTANT TALK TO YOUR CHILDREN.  TEACH THEM TO BE WEARY OF ANY PHYSICAL CONTACT BY AN ADULT AND TO TRUST YOU AND TO BRING THEIR PROBLEMS TO YOU.  THE CHILD THAT IS THE SAFEST IS THE ONE THAT KNOWS HE CAN TALK TO HIS PARENTS WITHOUT RETALIATION.  

Much of this information was obtained from an article written by Gregory M Weber, who is an Assistant Attorney General for the State of Wisconsin.  The name of the article is, “Grooming Children for Sexual Molestation”

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